The Dichotomy
Seems like I’ve been passing through a pet-peeve stage these past couple of days. My last (recent) stage was my ihatethedichotomybetweenmenandwomen phase.
A few weeks ago, a male friend (not me) sent me a text message asking me if it was okay for him to have coffee with a female officemate. Both the guy and the girl were, shall we say, Attached.
I replied, “Why not?”
I ask: Why is it that when we see a girl and a guy together, the first conclusion we’ll automatically come to is, they’re dating- which can have dire consequences when either or both of the parties are with someone else, present company excluded?
I guess maybe it’s because we’re wired to further the cause of evolution- to put it bluntly: to procreate- so we tend to think in terms of that framework ie, maybe there’s something going on between the two.
That doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. Why can’t two people of different sexes (or genders) go out because they’re friends? Nothing more. That’s it. And that there’s really nothing more to explain.
I remember my first week of college when I was mortified because the university was co-ed. Up until then, I’d spent my whole life with boys my age, having graduated from an all-boys’ school. I didn’t know how to talk to girls, much less how to behave in front of one- two million of them.
Then I realized that, hey, I shouldn’t be afraid of girls because what girls really are is that, well_ girls are just boys without dingdongs. (Okay, they're also boys without dingdongs and have boobs, but I wasn’t capable of thinking that yet because at 16, I hadn’t gotten on the puberty wagon yet.) It was an Enlightenment of sorts which I was lucky to stumble on. (Otherwise, I’d have been a hopeless recluse.)
The point?
Look inside. Men and women- we’re all made up of tissues. These tissues form into muscles and the different organs; these organs are supported and protected by the skeleton, etcetera, etcetera. Girls- guys, we’re the same. The only difference is that I and my friend are chock-full of testosterone and potato chips and beer (caffeine, for me), and my friend’s friend has estrogen and potato chips and beer in their stead. It’s a same-same all around.
Of course, if the missus is the jealous type… you really should avoid any situation where you’ll find yourself getting hit on the head with a vase thrown your way. All I can say is, I’m glad I’m single. Haha.
A few weeks ago, a male friend (not me) sent me a text message asking me if it was okay for him to have coffee with a female officemate. Both the guy and the girl were, shall we say, Attached.
I replied, “Why not?”
I ask: Why is it that when we see a girl and a guy together, the first conclusion we’ll automatically come to is, they’re dating- which can have dire consequences when either or both of the parties are with someone else, present company excluded?
I guess maybe it’s because we’re wired to further the cause of evolution- to put it bluntly: to procreate- so we tend to think in terms of that framework ie, maybe there’s something going on between the two.
That doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. Why can’t two people of different sexes (or genders) go out because they’re friends? Nothing more. That’s it. And that there’s really nothing more to explain.
I remember my first week of college when I was mortified because the university was co-ed. Up until then, I’d spent my whole life with boys my age, having graduated from an all-boys’ school. I didn’t know how to talk to girls, much less how to behave in front of one- two million of them.
Then I realized that, hey, I shouldn’t be afraid of girls because what girls really are is that, well_ girls are just boys without dingdongs. (Okay, they're also boys without dingdongs and have boobs, but I wasn’t capable of thinking that yet because at 16, I hadn’t gotten on the puberty wagon yet.) It was an Enlightenment of sorts which I was lucky to stumble on. (Otherwise, I’d have been a hopeless recluse.)
The point?
Look inside. Men and women- we’re all made up of tissues. These tissues form into muscles and the different organs; these organs are supported and protected by the skeleton, etcetera, etcetera. Girls- guys, we’re the same. The only difference is that I and my friend are chock-full of testosterone and potato chips and beer (caffeine, for me), and my friend’s friend has estrogen and potato chips and beer in their stead. It’s a same-same all around.
Of course, if the missus is the jealous type… you really should avoid any situation where you’ll find yourself getting hit on the head with a vase thrown your way. All I can say is, I’m glad I’m single. Haha.
posted by Talang Pula at 12:46 AM
7 Comments:
re: single blasphemy (haha, imbento ko lang). methinks i missed out on something oli or i'm overly analyzing things... or maybe it's all the reading that i do.:O
but about the post, i beg to disagree about the beer and potato chips ... tisn't limited to guys in some parts of the earth! (including the philippines, including NCR, including quezon city, including up diliman..) HAHAHAHAAHA.
hmmn.
i meant pare-pareho lang lumalaklak ng beer at ngumangasab ng potato chips ang babae at lalake. sa hormones lang nagkaiba. well, basically.
=)
ay, ano ba'ng sinulat ko...? haha. haynaku.
oli, i could totally relate dun sa co-ed shock when you got to college. all-girls school ako nung high school eh. pagdating ko sa UP, yikes. ang hirap nung una. ayokong may katabing guy, ayokong may kausap na guy even. but the awkwardness wore off din naman, shempz. tao din pala kayo, haha! :P
Why do people automatically think this way? Because people are disgusting pigs with nothing but sex in their mind. They're preoccupied with who's dating who or who's bonking who and love to cause trouble. That's why sex and cheesy romance sells -- ask any filmmaker or romace novelist who's earned millions. If this is evolution, we're in a bad state - brain space can be used for other preocuppations.
hey anon,
my big fear is that we're built this way, to evolve. so_ maybe there's nothing wrong with thinkingsex except that it's in our makeup, to think that way. and maybe the essence of being human will be for us to be more than this.
thanks for reading. =)
do you know anyone who's been cheated on by a partner who claimed to only be "having coffee", etc. w/a friend of the opposite sex?
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