Thursday, February 16, 2006


I have this habit of texting people whenever I’m befuddled with questions that can never be answered.

What is God? Is he an alien?

Who created him?

Is he just an artificial construct created just to make people toe the line? (If you don’t, you burn in Hell.)

Which begs the question… Did We in fact, create God?

Why are we here? Who are we?

Interesting lines of inquiry, when you’ve nothing to do. Or when you’re seeking for a good excuse to quit doing any kind of work. Not for purposes of calming the Boss, of course, but simply to justify your momentary indolence. (As in, I really need a coupl'a minutes alone to sort things out.)

Some few years ago, while I was in the midst of doing nothing, probably lying down, supine, on the floor, lazily humming to myself, I came upon this theory which spelled out for me one possible reason why there are many religions.

I mean, your basic kinds of religion espouse the same thing: Be a good man. Or woman. That’s it. Why did there have to be so many of them when essentially they’re all the same? Only the manner of worship and of practice differ. Maybe some knots and ends will vary, but at the core, they’re the same, with the same message: Be a good guy/ girl. Or else.

A re-imagining.

Millennia ago, when people were already in existence and when they’d already formed communities, an announcement was made. Whoever made the announcement, or how it was made is already lost, even by tradition.

The announcement went...

Hear ye, hear ye. (Or something of the sort.)

God wants to meet you peoples of the world. He wants to know your names, and ask of your stations.

And- why don’t we agree on a few rules while we're already there?


Send only one representative per community. We prepared food for 200 people only.

Oh, and, very important, bring paper and a pencil so that you can take notes.
(Ballpens weren't invented yet.)

Of course, the peoples of the Earth didn’t know who this God was, but that thing about food sounded interesting. People lobbied for themselves to be sent as representatives. Some... they gave out money so that people will vote for them. Some shacked up with- sucked up to- the people who mattered. (Remember, only one was required per community.)

So. Each community around the world sent their own representative. These representatives braved scorching deserts, swam through lakes, built rafts to cross the perilous seas, and hacked their way through dense jungles so that they can all go to the agreed meeting place.

They brought paper and a pencil. (One guy brought a stone tablet. I think his name rhymed with Noses.)

One even brought two pencils. Just in case. (I think his name rhymed with Abernakunesasardebasaheeb-Garcia.)

So the people of the Earth met in this one place, and they were introduced to God, who told them that He created them. They wrote this down.

They also all agreed on certain imperative rules such as: don’t lust after your neighbor’s wife (or wives), don’t hurt each other, don’t kill each other, and most especially, brush your teeth when you wake up, before you start talking to other people, etcetera. Or else. (Cue lightning. Roar of thunder.) They also wrote these rules down.

After the representatives partook of the free meal (which only consisted of a bottle of juice and a crappy sandwich), they went back to their respective communites so that they can report what was told in the meeting to their fellows, some men muttering, "Whatthe?!? I shacked up with Mayor Julio just so I can eat a crappy sandwich?" (Back then, every man voted into office became known as "Mayor Julio". Back then also, women weren't voted into office. Because they were smart. They didn't run for office. If they ran and won and became known as "Mayor Julio," they won't ever ever get married. I mean, I would Never marry a Mayor Julio. Unless she maybe looked like Naomi Watts.)

On the way back, they braved scorching deserts, swam through lakes, built rafts to cross the perilous seas, and hacked their way through dense jungles so that they can all go back home.

Unfortunately, for the lot of them, as they attempted to get home, they lost a few sheets of the paper on which they wrote their notes. For some of the representatives, the paper on which they wrote was ruined by rain, some partially, some totally. Some representatives, they were chased by dogs. When they were later asked what happened to their notes, they just answered matter-of-factly, The dog ate it. And it was probably true. (The Noses guy, even though he wrote on and was carrying stone tablets, he returned the tablets to his people intact. I heard he did this by_ get this, parting the sea and not having to row over it. Haha.)

The result of which was that when these representatives returned home, they each told their fellows what they could only recall of the meeting, because their notes were either incomplete or they'd gone kaput. And really_ no one will be the wiser. (Some representatives actually didn't bring enough paper, and the other reps there who had extra pieces of paper wouldn't give them any, so they wrote in small unreadable case to try fit everything in.)

Human memory being what it is, some of them forgot some details, others added to what was said, some recalled an entirely different set of facts. And so, for some communities, they were told that they were allowed to marry only once; for others, they were told that they could marry lots of times; for others, all they were told to do is lust after one another, and not after another's wife (or wives). That’s it.

Some reported of one God creating them, others reported of two, or of three, some even reported that there were a host of Gods.

But the substance remained the same which is that: 1. Peoples are beings who were created; and, 2. that God created them; and finally, 3. that they had better be good. Or else.

(Of course, some of the representatives reported that there was no God, that the whole thing was simply a ploy to market bottles of juice and crappy sandwiches.)

The point?

Ah. I was texting and asking most everyone I knew why life had to be confusing and hard and crappy (yes, like the sandwiches).

I received a host of answers, but the best answer of which went…

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a mystery to be solved.



Blogger Duke said...

Nice one.

Someone said this also... "God is the imaginary friend of grown ups."

How philosophical naman ang text mo!? :D

5:41 PM  
Blogger Talang Pula said...

hey, Duke. =)

philosophical? when i'm bored, haha. Feeling Philosophical. hay.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Gracei said...

hey there! channeled through Duke's site ...

interesting entry ...

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