Saturday, October 01, 2005


i was talking to a friend last night and somehow, things steered their way to the topic of Rebirth.

i want to be Reborn. i want to scrap everything i have now and rewrite everything.

the problem is, that last sentence smacks of at least two premises: 1.) that one can be reborn; and, 2.) that assuming you're reborn, you won't end up where you are today.

when i say Rebirth, i mean it literally. literally disappearing and just finding myself in the womb of my mother. literally starting all over again.

i don't know. is it normal to come to that point in your life when you just want to erase everything and start all over? i guess i'm in that rut now.


assuming i'm reborn, given that it's still Me, won't i end up where i am now? (then it'll all be pointless.)

probably not. though some may argue that where we are, and what we are today, is owing to a set of choices that we made. if we were still the same person, we'd make the same choices. probably not. because for one, i'll have a sudden sense of dejavu and be forewarned immediately. cellular memory. and then i think that that's only part of the picture.

sure, we decide where we go from wherever, and our decisions are based on who we are and possibly who we want to be. and yet, our lives are also governed by Chance. there are so many different variables that could differ and lead us to make an entirely different choice. even waking up a minute later than when you should would lead to an entirely different outcome (cum future).

you also have to consider that where you are now_ it's not solely dependent on your choices. it also depends on the choices made by the people around you. those you meet; those whose decisons matter because they affect your life. how they decide is a matter of Chance on your part. one tiny variable that will differ for them means that they'll decide differently. thereby tossing your whole life into another future.

millions of possibilities. i'm already getting dizzy just thinking about them. now if only i could be reborn.

oi, but i'm taking my dog with me.


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