Saturday, December 10, 2005

loveless in december

it's a lazy saturday. we have a meeting later at 1730h with the new Director of the Office of Legal Aid, Prof. Te. but the way this day is plodding along, that time seems like it's still very far off into the future.
i currently have two friends who have been dumped by their boyfriends. (i'm calling it bluntly, but truthfully. that's the truth, and if it sucks, well, suck up your guts and bear with it because no amount of prettifying with semantics is going to change anything.) one of them is staying alive, looking, for all the world like the brave soldier's daughter that she is. yet she wakes up in the middle of the night, at 3am, blaming Emily Rose for all her worries. i see things differently. she's haunted by demons all right but those demons don't come from hell.
as for my other friend- she's barely functioning. she's been a very diligent student in the college of law, but of late, she's been missing classes. presumably because the pain is becoming too much to bear.
it's funny that i now look at things with a sense of detachment, having passed through the same experience some few years ago. when people tell you that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, it's true, whether by its making your hide thicker, or by helping you look at the world differently. i partook of the second change.
my biggest realization is that this World is bigger than any of us. before mankind walked the earth, the dinosaurs considered this world their own- for millions of years. how long has mankind existed? we haven't even reached the millionth year mark. and yet we'll all view certain setbacks as if it's the end of the world. it's not. we've a tendency to equate our own existence with this world's. truth is, this world will not cease to exist even if we do. so why suffer over pain when in a million years, no one's going to care. what we should all just do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and continue walking. there's no sense in wasting time. continue walking. shit happens; move on.
what about grieving? well, allow yourself to grieve. that's your right and prerogative. i can't take that away from anyone. in fact you have your whole life to grieve- at nights, when you've nothing better to do- in your dreams. grieving doesn't mean that your whole life has to come to a halt. grieve for the good times- because there were- but move on. move on, my friends. let's.

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